D3 body, D1 cock
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
