He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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