**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
