He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
