Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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