Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
