What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hippo gnu deer
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
