Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i think i have two assholes
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
