i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Terrible idea I love it
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
