New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
