Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
