so that wasnt chicken after all
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
