I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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