Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
