Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
