i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
