I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
