CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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