Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm passing your future prison.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
