did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I supernannyed him into submission
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
