I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
