Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
