I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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