Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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