I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
