this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
