How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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