That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
