he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
