non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
