We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
