So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
