You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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