I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
