were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
