Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
