He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
