You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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