I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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