my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
