I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
