Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
