Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
