Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
