I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
