Duck Duck Cougar?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize