The maid of honor just puked.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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