You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
