I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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