my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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