apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
