just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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