I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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